Unspoken
by bebobnidan
Summary: When Scully's old boyfriend from medical school comes back, Mulder and Scully find the courage to admit their feelings- but at what price?


**Hi! I'm new to the X-Files fandom… so I apologize if this isn't what you all are looking for, but this is the best I could think up! I hope you enjoy! **

Unspoken

She'd felt the heat of his stare for long enough- in fact, she was sure that had she allowed his invasion of her privacy to go on for much longer he could have burned a hole straight through the case file she was reading. Her eyes flashed over the rims of her reading glasses to meet his hazel stare and he immediately diverted his eyes from her concentration. Confused, but not quite curious enough to penetrate his train of thought, she regained her interest in the file and ignored the eyes that had returned on her. After about another hour of her reading, she deliberated that his stare was beyond perverted, especially since she had worn a low-cut blouse for the first time in the 5 years they'd worked together. She threw down the file for the first time and glared at him.

"Okay, Mulder, you win, what do you want?"

"I'm trying to see if you're in a good mood," he admitted with a small smile.

"I'm fine," Scully snapped, clearly displaying the opposite emotion.

"Well, there's this case I've been really interested in and usually I wait to debrief you until you're not… you know… mean," he replied, feigning sincerity. Scully could see his eyes laughing at her behind his mask of seriousness and she rolled her eyes, deciding to take his stubbornness with good humor.

"Okay, whatever you say."

"Really?" Mulder's eyes lit up clearly surprised by her willingness. Scully nodded for him to continue and he smiled like a little boy on Christmas morning. "In 1985 there was a reported…"

Scully briefly zoned out of his lecture to think about tonight. She had her first date since Ed Jerse. Embarrassing. Her mind restlessly wandered to what she would wear, how she would hold herself, what she would order, and if she would invite him in…

"Scully?"

She was shocked out of her reverie. "Mulder?" she asked, feeling like a guilty schoolgirl that hadn't been paying attention.

"I asked you if we could leave tonight. I know it's short notice but if we can catch the 5:30 flight to New York we can be there for the full moon, which I'm pretty sure is crucial…"

"I can't do it tonight, Mulder," Scully replied smoothly.

"Oh come on Scully, what could you possibly be doing tonight? I know it's short notice, but I'll even help you pack. You can have the aisle seat. I'll pay for dinner. Come on, Scully, this our only chance for another month and who knows how many attacks there will be in that time?"

"Mulder, I don't care about the short notice. I have…plans."

"Plans?"

"A date."

There was an uncomfortable silence, Mulder holding his breath. His eyes grew shallow and cold. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah, Mulder. He's a friend from medical school. His name's Thomas."

"How long have you been seeing each other," Mulder managed to choke out.

"We haven't. It's not really a date. More like a reunion. Sorry."

"Don't apologize," Mulder insisted, his smile regained but without the same piercing wattage. "We can go next month. Or maybe never, it's probably a dumb case anyway. Have a good date," he smiled gently but the sincerity was lacking from it. There was a small gap in their conversation. Scully had expected him to leave, but they both stared at each other, daring the other to make the first move. Scully stood, grabbed her coat and smiled.

"Why don't you take that flight and I'll meet you there in the morning?"

"Hopefully there won't be too many autopsies to take care of," Mulder nodded slowly, gathered his papers, and grabbed his coat as they walked out of the basement. "Need a ride home?"

"I'd better take my car, but thanks," Scully nodded curtly. There was an invisible barrier between them that had sprouted the moment she mentioned her date. Perhaps Mulder was upset that she wasn't accompanying him? _Or maybe he's jealous_, her conscience screamed. Scully pushed the uncomfortable thought out of her mind. _Partner. Partner. Partner. _She repeated her mantra all the way home, ever so often glancing down at her phone and willing it to ring. Why did she want Mulder to demand her company? Didn't she want her life back- Spooky or not? Scully pulled up in front of her house and quickly changed out of the pantsuit, tossing off the jacket and skirt as quickly as she could. Retaining the blouse that she was convinced had impressed Mulder; she got dressed and flung herself in front of the mirror, touching up the imperfections that had sprouted over the day. Her phone rang like a shrill bird, and she grasped it before the second ring. "Scully," she called into the phone.

"Dana?" the mocking low voice mimicked over the phone, instantly recognizable. Scully rolled her eyes. "This is Thomas, might you join me for a ménage a trois with one beautiful Fox Mulder?"

"Mulder, knock it off. Aren't you on the plane by now?"

"Delayed because of the fucking storm," he replied, cracking open a sunflower seed. "I would have something to do, except my entertainment is being entertained tonight."

"Glad I could be of service," Scully deadpanned dryly, earning a small chuckle from her partner.

"Is Mr. Thomas the tank engine there yet?"

"His name is Thomas Matson, and he's perfectly _not _a train, Mulder. Your sense of humor is that of a three year old. Why didn't you bring the case file to read?"

"I don't know if you remember, but you took the case file home with you. I'm kind of stuck out here in the middle of a thunderstorm without anything to do."

"Poor Mulder," Scully replied coolly, feeling guilty but not wanting to give him the satisfaction, "doesn't have his case file or his video collection of questionable origins. What is he ever to do?"

"Ouch, low blow Scully. I'll have you know that I know very well where that video collection came from."

"I'm happy for you," Scully laughed as she stepped into high heels. "Listen, Mulder, Thomas is going to be here soon and you're going to have to find something to do while I'm being… entertained," she giggled slightly at her mischief. She knew he was smiling on the other end of the phone, as she could hear it in his voice.

"Would you mind a third wheel?"

"Read a magazine or something. Flirt with someone. Come on, be creative."

Mulder smiled sadly. Scully had no problem with him flirting with the airport attendants, while it tore his heart out that she was going on a date… _reunion _with the apparently not-train-like Thomas Matson. Where was the justice in that? "I wouldn't mind flirting with you," Mulder blurted. He immediately regretted the words, but then realized Scully was laughing and smiled at the close call.

"I'm sure you wouldn't. Your social skills are off the charts," Scully giggled. Mulder couldn't help chuckle at her contagious laughter, his eyes lighting up at her joy. He heard the doorbell ring in her house and immediately knew that his joy would be short-lived. "Oh, Mulder, he's here. Sorry. Enjoy your flight, and I'll see you in the morning," she offered.

"Alright. I lo—hope you have a good date," Mulder saved himself, flinching and hoping she didn't hear his mistake.

"Have a good flight with the stewardess," Scully giggled. Mulder hung up with his usual lack of a goodbye. "Coming!" she called as the doorbell was rung a second time. _Impatient and punctual,_ Scully noted. Tough combination. Her heels clacked against the hardwood floors and she opened the door. Thomas stood, leaning against the wall of her doorway with flowers in one hand and car keys in the other.

"Dana!" he called and hugged her. Scully made a mental note that this was a mix between a date and a reunion- flowers and _hugging_? It seemed strangely platonic until he handed her the bouquet. Scully, quickly recovering ushered him into her kitchen while she found a vase. The one she could find was dusty and smudged, seeing as she hadn't been on a date since Ed, but nevertheless she filled it with water and dropped the bright red roses into the vase. _Red_, she noticed. _Not so platonic. _

"It's been so long, Thomas," she noted, smiling as they stood awkwardly in the kitchen.

"Far too long, Dana. Although might I say, you only got prettier with age," he flirted openly, smiling crookedly in an all-too-charming manner. _More charming than Mulder_, Scully thought. She realized that the only flirtations she'd received recently were from the awkwardly sex-driven social pariah Fox Mulder, and Frohike. Before she'd joined Mulder in his relatively insane crusade for the truth, she was getting them left and right. _Guess I really am the Ice Queen, _she thought.

"Oh, won't you stop," Scully blushed and tentatively took a couple of steps toward the door. Once they were at the restaurant, the normal social conventions would disappear and they could fall into old habits again. After all, they'd dated in medical school until he'd transferred and their relationship had dwindled in the last months. "Should we go to the car?"

"Lead the way, Ahab," Thomas offered, winking at her nickname for her father.

"I'm Starbuck," Scully challenged with a grin. She shut the door gently behind them and strode onto the grass wet with dew.

"How is your old man?" Thomas asked as they walked to the car; rain still fresh on the pavement. There was an awkward silence before Scully spoke.

"He passed five years ago," she replied. "Heart attack."

"Oh Dana, I'm so sorry," Thomas reached out a sympathetic hand, but withdrew to unlock the car and step inside. Scully followed, smiling and brushing it off.

"You never really get over it, but the pain dulls, you know?"

"Yeah. My mother died my first year of med school, remember?"

"She was great," Scully agreed quietly, before Thomas ignited the engine and peeled out of the driveway, silence encompassing the uncomfortable situation.

Scully's phone rang and interrupted the awkwardness. "Scully?"

"My flight was cancelled," Mulder announced. "So we can fly together."

Scully glanced apologetically over at Thomas for having to answer the phone. He turned down the radio and allowed her to hear Mulder. "Mulder, can't this wait?"

"Hey, all I'm saying is that I call the aisle seat. I got the row near the back of the plane, so it'll be bumpy, but it's near the bathroom so I figured you'll be all set."

"Well aren't you sweet, thinking of me," Scully deadpanned and Mulder chuckled.

"How's Tommy?" he inquired, a stiffness entering his voice. _Maybe he is jealous,_ Scully thought, because he didn't sound still angry about her not accompanying him.

"He's great," Scully nodded. "Listen, Mulder, I have to go."

"Alright. You call me if he does something…you know…"

"Mulder, I'm fine!" Scully snapped, offering a sweet smile to a concerned Thomas. "I will see you in the morning."

She was the one to hang up this time. Mulder looked sadly at his phone, before getting into his car and driving home. Scully watched as Thomas pulled up in front of a fancy French restaurant, winking at her. "I figured with all the traveling you do you must not get a lot of nice food, so here we are!"

Scully blushed and smiled, and then stepped out of the car. She was sure this was going to be a lovely evening, Spooky or not.

Xxx

When her phone rang, she shot straight up out of the bed she was in. Looking around, she noticed the different furniture, strangely painted walls, pictures of family members she didn't have, and most importantly, a man lying next to her. Struggling out of the sheets to grab her phone, she realized for the first time that she had a pounding headache that probably originated from getting drunk. _Damn, _she swore, grabbing the phone before it rang again.

"Scully," she whispered groggily.

"Hey sleeping beauty, I'm outside your house. Where are you?" Mulder asked.

_Fuck, _she swore. She'd forgotten that they were leaving for the airport at 10:30… she wasn't packed, dressed, showered, and more importantly, she wasn't even at her house. "Fuck this, Mulder," she whispered, hearing the sharp intake of surprise on the other end. "Mulder, I can't make it. I'm not ready. You go ahead, I'll join you later."

"Scully, I'll help you pack. Here, let me in, I lost your key."

"No, Mulder, I'm just…" she searched for a perfect excuse. "I'm just sick."

Mulder knew she was lying, but decided to play along. "Then I'll take care of you, sweetheart," he teased with a crooked smile.

"Fine, Mulder. I just don't want to go. Please go without me."

"Eh, the case isn't worth it without you," Mulder admitted demurely. He heard the sigh of resignation on the other end of the line and knew she was going to tell the truth.

"Mulder, I'm not at my house. I'm at Thomas's place."

Scully winced painfully at the immediate silence following her admission. _Okay, he's jealous_, she conceded to her conscience. Mulder coughed awkwardly. "Well, congratulations?" he mumbled. Scully tried not to laugh at how uncomfortable he sounded. She cleared her throat. "Well," Mulder began again, "I guess we'll just call off the case. It probably was a dead end anyway."

"Mulder…" Scully began, guilt weighing on her heart.

"No, Scully, I'm fine. I'll see you on Monday." He hung up.

Why was she feeling guilty? It wasn't like he _owned_ her. He didn't control her- she wasn't his, much as he wanted her to be. _And as much as you want to be, _her conscience screamed again. Maybe it was just guilt because she'd missed the flight and screwed the case. _Don't try and justify how much you love him,_ she thought, glancing quickly down at Thomas, feeling guilty for leading him on. "Fuck my life," Scully groaned and reached for her skirt and top. She scribbled a note and left it on the nightstand.

_Getting coffee-will be back in 20 minutes_

_ - D._

Only she wasn't sure where she was going- she sure as hell wasn't going to get coffee. She grabbed the keys off of her purse and slowly closed the door. Falling to the ground in front of his door, she thought about what had happened. Her knees tucked up to her chin, she buried her face in her legs and wondered how she had been so careless. Did she really just have sex on the first date? Had they actually done…it? How did she drink so much? And why did he let it happen? She knew all the answers- and her headache only grew stronger as she came to the realizations and the guilt and shame crashed down on her. She grasped her cell phone in her hands and redialed Mulder's number. She'd left her car at the restaurant, probably because she'd been so drunk, and she needed a way to get home without having to look Thomas in the face and tell him it was a mistake. She was too shaken to handle that right now.

"Mulder," he answered. Scully heard the familiar crunch of a sunflower seed.

"Mulder, it's me," she whispered. The crunching stopped.

"What can I do for you?" he asked coldly. _Was he disappointed… or jealous?_

"Mulder, I don't have a car, and I need a way to get home," Scully pleaded.

"Why don't you ride Thomas the train? Oh, that's right, you already did."

"Mulder stop, please, you've made me feel guilty enough."

He hated doing this to her- it really wasn't his place. He should have little reason to be cruel to her other than her abandoning him, but truthfully he was rock bottom jealous. It was undeniable- he was wholly and irrevocably in love with Dana Scully. "Okay, I'm sorry, you don't deserve that."

"Thank you," Scully whispered. "Can you please pick me up? 1205 Washington."

"I'll be there in 20 minutes," he agreed and hung up.

Scully heard the door open and jumped as a half-naked Thomas strolled out of the room. "Making coffee on the ground?" he teased and she smiled awkwardly.

"Listen, Thomas, I had fun last night but…"

"Before you say anything, you should probably know nothing happened. You got really drunk, which is kind of weird for you, isn't it?" Scully nodded and he continued. "Maybe you just weren't used to alcohol. I took you here because you were vomiting and your house would have been too far. You slept in your underwear. Nothing happened, I swear."

Scully's eyes watered in immediate relief. Thomas looked hurt, but he smiled supportively. She realized how hurtful her relief probably was to him. "I guess you won't want to see me again, right?"

"First dates don't usually go that way for me, no," he agreed but grinned. "I'll try again if you will."

"Third time's the charm," Scully smiled. "But maybe no alcohol?"

"Hey, I stayed sober."

Scully smirked. "Listen, I called a friend and he's going to pick me up."

"He?"

Scully laughed at the premature jealousy. "You don't need to be worried," she assured. _Actually, you should be scared out of your mind, _Scully thought to herself, but kept the words unspoken. She heard someone beep in front of the apartment and assumed correctly that it was Mulder. "That'd be him. It was nice seeing you, Thomas."

He swooped in for a gentle kiss on the lips, surprising but immediately pleasing Scully, and pulled away. "Have a good day. I'll call you."

Scully strode down the stairs, heels in both hands and walking barefoot on the concrete. She stepped into the front passenger seat awkwardly and Mulder looked at her, searching her face for a way to start the inevitable conversation. "Well?" was all he could muster without pushing too hard.

Scully wiped her eyes from the tears of relief. "Nothing happened," she announced.

Mulder looked slightly relieved, but hid it well. "It was still reckless and unsafe."

"You're not my father, Mulder," Scully reprimanded. She looked back over at him, her green eyes swimming as if searching his own. "But thank you for your concern," she replied earnestly and turned back to massaging her sore feet.

"You look nice," he offered before igniting the engine and cruising onto the street. "It's better than your pantsuits," he chuckled softly, treading carefully.

"Thank you?" she inquired, feeling uncomfortable and blushing from the compliment. Mulder drove for a good twenty minutes, holding in the question she knew was bubbling on his lips.

"If nothing happened, why were you sleeping at his apartment?"

"I got…inebriated," Scully spoke, embarrassed. "He didn't want me driving home, and apparently I was vomiting so he went to his apartment because it was closer."

"That's a great excuse," Mulder rolled his eyes. "Vomiting. Please."

"It's true," Scully stressed, not truly knowing exactly what happened.

"Okay, okay. Just please be careful next time," he warned nosily.

"Why's it any of your damn business?" Scully demanded.

"Because you're my…partner," he stated awkwardly, knowing that their relationship was so much more than the sterile professional term he'd just used. It was a ridiculous statement- if she wanted to get pregnant, why did it concern him? If she wanted to date a wealthy surgeon, did he really have a say? "And because I care about you. A lot," he added sincerely. Scully looked at him, surprised. This was ridiculous- since when was Mulder serious? Was this another cruel joke so that he could get her to admit that _maybe _she had done… _it_… with her new boyfriend? Or was it a deeper curiosity wedged in long-lasting concern for someone he loved? _Loved._ Did Mulder love her? It was a peculiar question to ask about work partners. Then again, Mulder _was _peculiar, so maybe it fit with his behavior.

"_Care_ about?" Scully found herself asking. The sirens blared. This was getting personal. But somehow she couldn't stop herself. "_Care_ about? Mulder, I care about... I don't know… Skinner, for example, but I don't drill him about his sex life."

"Well there was that one prostitute case where you probably had to…"

"Mulder, face it. You love me."

The words were out of her mouth before she could stop herself. That was potentially the most embarrassing moment of her entire life. Did she really just accuse her partner of having deeper feelings for her? In the name of all idiotic ways to bring up Mulder's feelings, did she really have to blurt out her partner's secret love out like she was announcing what she had for breakfast?

"Well of course I love you," Mulder agreed, searching her eyes for what she meant, and why she was now perspiring profusely. "You're practically my best… _only _… friend. Why would you ever think that I didn't?"

_God, he doesn't know what I meant. Thank the lord. _"I don't know Mulder, it just seems like the words go unspoken sometimes. So it's nice to know once and a while."

"Well I'm sorry I don't say it every time we see each other. Is that what I should do?" Mulder laughed at the absurdity of her complaint.

"No, but…I'm glad we've cleared it up."

"Cleared it up?" Mulder laughed incredulously. "Was there really ever any confusion about how I felt about…?" His eyes lit up with sudden realization, an understanding. Scully saw the truth dawn on him- how she had accused him, and what she'd meant. "Oh."

"Yeah," Scully whispered awkwardly.

"Oh."

"Oh? OH? Mulder, come on, just help me out here."

"Well, Scully, you might be giving yourself too much credit," Mulder grinned a toothy smile and she rolled her eyes, partially in amusement, but also in disappointment. It was so typical of him to make a joke out of an important topic. She really cared about him. Why was it so hard for him to just be serious and talk about how he was feeling? "I'm just kidding. But Scully, we're partners. Even if I did…which I don't… it would be…"

"I get it," Scully nodded. "And I don't, but if I did… it would be…"

They pulled up in front of Scully's house. "Thanks for the ride," she whispered.

"I love you," Mulder smiled, containing the inevitable laugh.

"Have a good weekend," Scully smiled dryly and opened the door.

"I love you."

"Goodbye, Mulder," Scully laughed.

"I love you!" He added and she smiled and closed the door.

Xxx

Scully was busy reading a novel when her phone shrieked. Expecting Mulder's call anyway, knowing that the lonely man couldn't make the weekend without her, she picked it up without hesitation. "Mulder, don't tell me you've run dry off of your stash of tapes?"

"Dana?"

"Oh, Thomas!" Scully breathed in surprise and embarrassment. "Sorry, I was expecting a different call…I…I'm sorry!"

"Really, it's no problem. So I may seem desperate, calling you the day after our date, but I'd really like to see you again, sober?"

Scully blushed. There really was no way to put that date behind them. "Yes, well, I'd really love to. How does tomorrow night sound? I know it's a Sunday…"

"It's a date," he agreed. "And you _can_ drink, Dana. I was only joking."

"Trust me, it's a good idea," Scully laughed. "Pick me up at six?"

"I'll be there," he replied and hung up. She leaned back into her bathtub, grasping the wine glass in one hand, the novel in the other, and placed the cell phone on the side of her tub. She let the water wash over her body, scrubbing her clean of what had happened that morning. Was there really a hope for their relationship if she was afraid of sex? After all, it was the staple for most relationships- maybe that was what they needed to keep each other together and faithful. But what did that say about it if the only thing holding them together was anticipation of what was to come?

Guiltily, Scully pondered her relationship with Mulder. She didn't know about him (although she had a pretty good guess), but sex was not what she was looking for. In many ways their relationship was a romance- a balance, an agreement, a mutual love that transcended earthly needs and sexual desires. _Are you happy with that? _Scully had to consider that, which made her feel uncomfortable. Of COURSE she was happy with her relationship with Mulder- wasn't she? Could she really deny the dreams she'd had of waking up in his arms? Could she really ignore the feelings of jealousy that sprouted every time he checked out some leggy blonde? Could she discount the number of times he'd touched her, a hand on her back, a consoling hug, one warm hand placed over another, that she had felt the sparks like a wildfire? And was it really worth the time trying to convince herself that she _wasn't _madly in love with her partner? _Okay, Dana, get your head on straight. _Perhaps she was confusing romantic love with platonic love. Then again, no one could accurately define the line that separated the two. Scully would not and could not deny that she was attracted to Mulder. Then what is the difference between the two? She had often imagined herself _being _with Mulder all her life- _being with _meaning always standing by his side. If she was attracted to him and couldn't imagine her life without him, didn't that mean she was in love with him?

Scully found this kind of thinking too hopeful. There was a line-a giant, noticeable, fucking black line in between them. They were _partners. _She couldn't imagine the way Skinner would frown upon an office relationship-especially with a man as radical and impulsive as Fox Mulder. Then again, wasn't their friendship and partnership practically a relationship? Scully couldn't count the number of times she'd wanted to wring his neck… what difference did the sex make? _OH GOD, DANA KATHERINE SCULLY! _Her conscience screamed again. _Are you really thinking this much about a relationship with Mulder when you're DATING Thomas?_ Scully closed her eyes, forcing the voices out of her head. She was happy with her life- happy with her relationship with Thomas, and happy with her friendship with Mulder- wasn't she? The telephone interrupted her thoughts and for once she was thankful.

"Scully," she replied, smart enough to not expect anyone. Once bitten, twice shy.

"Scully it's me," the voice echoed through her mind, knocking down her walls. _Fuck! Since when has his voice been able to do that?_

"Mulder, it's Saturday night. Can you really be working?"

"I'm working on my pen-…"

"Oh my God, Mulder!" Scully yelled, shocked at his vulgarity.

"-cil collection. Pencil collection, Scully," Mulder tried not to chuckle.

"I'm glad you were thinking of me while doing that, Mulder," Scully laughed.

"Well yes, I've been reading some case files, but this one's a little more important."

"Than werewolves? Who would think?" Scully mocked, sipping her wine.

"Touché," Mulder noted, smiling. "Well, I'll give you the details over the phone if you could scribble 'em down, and then we'll talk about when we'll leave for the airport."

"I can't 'scribble 'em down', Mulder," Scully mocked.

"Why? Where are you?"

"The kitchen?" Scully lied, realizing how bad at lying she really was.

"What's cooking, red?" Mulder whispered seductively. Scully lost the wine she was drinking in laughter.

"Oh, Mulder," Scully scolded good-naturedly. She wiped her mouth. "Listen, Mulder, I'm in the bathtub."

"I'll be there in five minutes," Mulder joked and Scully giggled.

"Not your best, Mulder. Of all the bathtub sex jokes in the world? Tsk tsk."

"You're the best audience I have, girl," he chuckled sincerely. Scully's laughter stopped. They were hovering above something- one step in the wrong direction and they'd be heading down a road that was too dark, personal and tangled for them to unweave. "So, I'll debrief you and maybe you'll remember?"

"Lay it on me," Scully offered, and then winced at the unintentional innuendo.

"Okay," Mulder agreed, stifling a laugh. He could hear her holding her breath, waiting for him to crack a joke, but he decided against it. "In 1987, a man was found with his larynx ripped straight out of his neck. Name was Charles Pritchett. In 1993, a guy named Peter Jones had the same unfortunate end, same city. New York City. In '98, this year, a woman named Sallie Frost was killed the same way. But _whatever _is doing this, leaves behind claw marks that of an animal, only these people were killed in their homes in the middle of Manhattan. The claw marks look like wild cats."

"Mulder, it's entirely possible that these claw marks are actually knife wounds."

"I thought you'd say that. Except, found in the wound track of Ms. Frost was a chipped piece of bone."

"Could be anything, Mulder. Remnants from an archeological dig. Something falling from the ceiling. Let's be honest, that evidence is circumstantial and won't hold up in any court, Mulder."

"What if I told you there was a saber-toothed tiger skeleton unearthed in '87, more parts of the skeleton in '93, and the selection was near complete in '98?"

"I'd say _circumstantial, circumstantial, _and _circumstantial_, Mulder. It's a coincidence."

"There's no such thing," Mulder challenged wistfully.

"Fine, so what if there isn't. That kind of proof won't hold in any court- it's not even proof, Mulder, it's a crackpot discovery molded to fit your insane theory of some ancient species having some kind of ghost or spirit that has endured 1000s of years of burial. It's just not plausible," Scully argued. For some reason, arguing with Mulder cleansed her mind of the muddled thoughts she'd been having recently about her partner and what they could have together. Yawning, she placed down the book she'd been reading and set her now-empty wine glass on the tile beside her tub. "I'm going to sleep, Mulder, and unless you find a dinosaur spirit worth chasing, I'll see you Monday."

"But Scully!" Mulder whined, grinning at the immaturity, "I already booked us plane tickets, _and _got us tickets to the Yankees game tomorrow night. It's against the Sox, Scully, it's got to be good."

"But Mulder!" Scully mocked, "I already booked myself in a place where men don't run around chasing the spirits of massive extinct felines with foot-long teeth and bone that apparently has the same chemistry as a feline living right now. It's construed, Mulder, and you've tried to match the evidence with your theory, not the other way around."

"Just this once, Scully."

Scully let out a cackle and Mulder smirked at how un-ladylike it was… then again, it was Scully. "_Just this once,_ Mulder? Do you think I was born yesterday?"

"You can choose the hotel for the next three out-of-town cases."

Scully sat up out of the bubbles, nearly dropping her wine glass. "Fine," she spoke dryly, trying to mask her previous excitement.

"Alright! I'll be there in 20 minutes," Mulder hung up.

_20 minutes? The bastard!_

Xxx

The plane ride was horrible. Not only was it bumpy and smelled like infant vomit, but Scully was constantly worrying about whether or not she had packed everything in the brief twenty minutes Mulder had supplied her. "Mulder, my neck is sore," Scully moaned, massaging the tensed muscles. "It must be from sitting in the bathtub," she complained. Mulder reached a tentative hand to behind her mass of red hair and slowly rubbed the top of her spine. Without hesitation, he leaned in and planted a soft kiss on her fiery hair and then proceeded to massage her neck gently. Scully had originally tensed at the invasive contact, but relaxed under his touch considerably. She had to bite her lip to contain the moan she was sure would escape her mouth if she didn't clamp it shut. Scully couldn't imagine the mirthless teasing she'd receive if she moaned under his tender touch. The stewardess strolled over to the two of them.

"Ma'am, could you please hand this pillow to your husband?"

"He's…" Scully began, but held the words back. Were they necessary? "He's fine without it. He'll use mine," she offered.

"Thank you, ma'am," the stewardess nodded and strolled off.

Scully caught Mulder's gaze and followed it to the impressive behind of the stewardess. She removed her neck from his grasp and glared at him. "You know Mulder, flirting is a lot more innocent than checking her out. When I say flirt with an airport person, I don't mean ogle them!"

"It's just that you're sitting down, so I have to look at something."

Scully blushed furiously at the compliment, her neck burning red hot under his touch and her face bursting like a tomato, matching her bright red hair. "My assets are no excuse," Scully snapped but relaxed as he worked his hand up and down the back of her neck. "But if you keep massaging, we'll let it slide."

"Okay, Mrs. Spooky," Mulder laughed, and Scully realized that he'd heard her lack of denial at their 'marriage'.

"It wasn't worth the explanation," Scully challenged and grabbed the closest thing to read- in this case, a Sky Mall magazine. She immediately regretted it- not only did it look ridiculous that she had found a sudden interest in the pages, but she knew that Mulder saw that she was clearly bothered by both his and the stewardess's accusations- which left her completely vulnerable to new tormenting. However, Mulder didn't push it, instead leaning back in his chair. He let his hand fall from her neck nonchalantly down to the small of her back, drifting his fingers ever-so-slightly over where her hips met her- assets. Scully would have complained that the massage had ended, but felt such an ignition of sparks that she couldn't open her mouth without letting loose the earthly and guttural moan that had built up behind the thick of her lips. "Mulder," she forced out, although the first syllable sounded more like a moan than she had intended.

He took the hint that perhaps this degree of contact was inappropriate between… _partners_. Mulder had never really had concern for the lines- he was far too head-over-heels for Scully to listen to Skinner's babbling about their closeness or the whispers in the hallway about 'Spooky and the Ice Queen'. But he knew that the 'Ice Queen' had that worry- did they look like a couple? Of course- why else would the stewardess have made that mistake? Two people of opposite gender can go on the plane together without being mistaken for a couple- it was far more than cultural perception. Mulder didn't… _gaze_… at Scully, but his eyes did linger on her far longer when she spoke than anyone else. Sure, he checked her out once and a while. He'd been checking her out when she'd worn the low cut blouse the day before. When they hugged, or held hands, or simply just looked at each other, it was a far deeper connection than colleagues. Mulder loved Scully. Scully loved Mulder. It was beautiful simplicity- there was no one in the way.

It hit Mulder with painful clarity when he remembered _Thomas_. Was Scully thinking about their drunken night together as she closed her eyes under his touch? Even if nothing had happened between them- did she want it to have? Would she settle for Spooky in the basement or cross-country looking for spirits of dinosaurs, or would she want a real life with a real man? Maybe Scully wanted more than a flirt. Maybe she wanted someone to come home to and not have to think about the threat of alien abduction or something as ridiculous. Did Scully want this? It was a question he'd asked himself many times but rarely asked her. By extension, if Scully didn't want the X-Files, she didn't want him. That was what hurt Mulder with a stunning blow to the chest. He could care less if she wanted to believe in all the insane truths he'd thrown her way. He wanted her to want _him, _not the X-Files. Mulder wasn't sure when he'd realized it- it wasn't a sudden realization. It was a growing feeling-not bliss, like love should be, but a growing pain when he realized it would never be possible. Not like this. Not while Mulder and Scully were just that- Mulder and Scully. Two parts of a working machine- lines never crossed.

"What are you thinking about?" she inquired, turning her face to him and interrupting the massage.

"Saber-tooth tigers," Mulder lied and grinned when she rolled her eyes.

"Mulder, it's probably a serial killer. As disgusting as it is to say, we're lucky."

Mulder laughed and reached his hand back to her neck and rubbed slowly.

"And just so you know, Mulder, the stewardess has been checking you out all flight." Scully had expected his eyes to light up- she didn't even know why she'd said it. Maybe she was testing his reaction- measuring the kind of competition she had. _Oh God, Dana, you sound like you actually want _him! Did she want Mulder? As he rubbed her neck and smiled innocently? Maybe. Maybe not.

Mulder's hand slid two inches to the right and grabbed her chin, turning her confused face towards his. Scully's eyebrows rose at his serious expression. "Better?" he choked out. What did he really want to say to her? Scully nodded and turned her face forward, happy to have broken out of the intense gaze from her partner, but still curious as his eyes rested on her face, as if searching for something. By the time her eyes flicked back towards him, he turned idiotically towards the Sky Mall magazine, every once and a while stealing a glance at the stewardess, whose seductive smile vanished as she received a cold glare from the Ice Queen.

Xxx

Mulder woke to a quiet, shy knock on the adjoining door. It was unlocked, so all he had to do was tell her he was decent before she walked it. Mulder let out a grunt and signaled her entrance. Scully was dressed, although without the usual suit jacket and wore a slightly shorter and tighter skirt. "It's 9:30, sleeping beauty," Scully joked and threw a pillow from the couch onto Mulder, who rolled over and wiped his tired eyes. She flicked on the light and was greeted with a surprising sight.

Scully's eyebrows rose. He was naked, save for the boxers he wore under the ruffled white sheets. Perhaps he hadn't realized the state he was in when he'd invited her in. She'd seen him naked before, but never when she wasn't concerned for his safety. "Mulder, put some clothes on, for God's sake."

"I thought the stewardess was coming over," Mulder grumbled jokingly, one arm over his eyes and the other patting the bed beside him. "Come sit," he groaned.

"When you take a shower and get dressed, I'll sit, Mulder."

He groaned again and stood, strolling into the bathroom. "What's on the agenda today, Scully?" he called from the other room.

"We're going to meet Detective Berkeley at 11:00, but it's about a thirty minute drive and we have to have breakfast," she called. "Since you were smart enough to get a motel outside of the city," she mocked and turned to the case file in her hand.

"Hey, they're cheaper," he shouted before turning on the water.

"I'd be hard-pressed to find a motel with more roaches per square foot, Mulder."

"Probably why it's so cheap," he shouted from the shower.

"I'll wait 'til you get out," Scully offered, flipping through the pages.

Ten minutes later, a much-refreshed Mulder strolled out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist. Scully diverted her eyes to the case file, struggling with the secret desire to watch him get dressed. When he was ready, Scully debriefed him. "Det. Berkeley told me that we're going to visit the crime scene and then do some more work with NYPD."

"Where are we having breakfast?"

"Hopefully not at Roach City," Scully picked one of the pests off of the rug in front of her and crushed it with a book. "I'm thinking an actual restaurant, Mulder. Not a diner."

"IHOP?" Mulder suggested, earning a smirk from his hard-to-break partner.

"Fine, Mulder."

An hour later, an irate Scully and a well-fed and content Mulder strolled up to the yellow crime scene tape. "Come hungry, leave happy," Mulder recited the catchphrase, and earned a huff from Scully, who'd had a horrible meal consisting of old fruit salad and one pancake that was singed all the way through. Mulder pulled the yellow tape up to his shoulder to allow his small partner easy access. Detective Berkeley, a large man in his 50's, greeted them. "Miss Scully, Mr. Mulder," he shook both their hands and then got down to business. "Ms. Frost was a good woman. This isn't right. Was that bone sent to you?"

"We got it all right," Mulder replied, holding up the small fragment in an evidence envelope. "You can leave us from here, sir," Mulder offered. Berkeley nodded and started to walk away, before turning back.

"I don't like the thought that the FBI has to solve my cases, so do your best to stay out of our way," he reprimanded, before strolling away.

"Mulder, you didn't tell me you had the bone! I should be getting on an autopsy!"

"Hey, someone will handle the autopsy. I need you with me…in the field."

_I need you with me,_ Scully snagged the words out of the sentence. They were practically a summary of their relationship- down to the very words themselves. _You. With. Me. _Mulder with Scully. Scully with Mulder. "I still want to do the autopsy myself, Mulder. I'll join you in an hour?"

"4:30 we have some crazy tickets to the Yankees game, you'll be done by then?"

"I'll be waiting," Scully smiled and strode away.

Two intestines and a stomach later, Scully had completely destroyed the body and re-pieced it together, smiling at her handy-work. Stretching the latex off of her hands, she called Mulder. "Mulder, it's an hour until the game. Should we get going?"

"Yeah, I'll pick you up in 10 minutes."

"Get anything good out in the field?"

"No work talk. This is you with me, having some good ol' fun, alright?"

Scully blushed. "How are we going to get there?"

"We can take the train," Mulder replied.

_TRAIN_, Scully thought. _OH GOD. THOMAS! _"Mulder, I have to go."

"Okay," he replied, surprised. "See you in 10."

Scully immediately dialed Thomas's number, as she knew it by heart, and waited anxiously. "Hello?" he answered.

"Hi, Thomas, it's Sc-Dana."

"Having cold feet?" he joked with a smile. She laughed nervously.

"Thomas, my feet are warm enough…" Scully began, and he laughed, knowing full well something was wrong but decided to play it innocently. "But I'm stuck at work and I won't be done until tomorrow. Can we reschedule?"

"Sure, sure. How about Tuesday?"

_If only saber-tooth tigers took Tuesdays off_, Scully thought. "Perfect. Six?"

"Keep your feet warm," he joked wistfully and hung up.

There was a knock on the morgue door and Mulder strode in. "Hey, you ready?"

Scully immediately felt the guilt. She wasn't working. Sure, she was in New York, and there really was no way to get back in time for her date, but she felt guilty about lying to Thomas and going on a… dare she say it… _date _with Mulder under the guise that she was working. This was a relationship that was a substitute for another she could only dream of, and Scully knew full well if Thomas ever found out, it would be the end of her happy ending. "Mulder, I…"

"Getting cold feet?" Mulder joked, and Scully winced. She really did have a type.

"No, let's go." Scully stripped the scrubs off and changed into jeans and a t-shirt. This was fun- minus the guilt.

It was 5-3 for the Yankees when Scully saw the man buying the hotdog at the stand. Another old friend from medical school was standing right in front of her. "Joe!" she called from across the seats, waving her hands frantically. She wasn't sure he'd recognize her with the short haircut, but sure enough he ran over to her and gave her a bear hug. _Platonic_, Scully noted with a giggle. "Dana, it's been so long."

Mulder looked uncomfortably at Scully and all the men fawning after her and then rested his eyes on the game, which he pretended was much more important than the woman he loved-sure. "Oh, God I'm so rude. Joe, this is Mulder. He's a…friend."

The two men shook hands and Joe left them to the game, as Scully and her friend exchanged numbers. As he retreated into the rows of seats, Scully turned and saw the fidgeting look on Mulder's face. "Mulder, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. You seem to know a lot of people."

_That's right. Mulder was jealous,_ Scully noticed, and smiled despite herself. "Mainly men," Scully spoke wistfully, teasing Mulder. Maybe they'd come to the point where his jealousy was acknowledged but unspoken. It was probably better that way- maybe he wouldn't feel like he had to hide his feelings anymore. Mulder glanced down at her and then back towards the game, a twinkle in his eye. He reached his arm around her and Scully leaned her head on his shoulder as the game wore on- but Mulder wasn't really watching anymore anyway.

Thomas was fuming. Dana had said that she was working all of Sunday and Monday- why was she lying to him? He'd known some piece of the puzzle hadn't fit when she'd cancelled, but she'd seemed eager to reschedule so he had assumed she was probably still interested. But when he'd gotten the call from his friend Joe, declaring that he'd run into Dana at a baseball game with her friend Mulder (who he remembered had called her during their date), Thomas had grown furious. She lied to him. They'd only been on ONE date and she was already lying to him again. He had to admit, he'd wondered when she'd picked up the phone and spoke so comfortably with her _work partner _like they were best friends. When she was picked up from his house, was Mulder the man driving her home? At first, that was only premature jealousy, but now she was lying about what she was doing with another man- at some point, a line must be drawn. But Scully's desperate need for separating lines had vanished that afternoon. She was no longer afraid to challenge the clearly set borders between the two of them- it was no longer Mulder and Scully- it was now Mulder with Scully. Perfect.

Xxx

"We've closed the case, sir, because of inconclusive evidence and inappropriate jurisdiction," Scully explained, watching Mulder rub his tired eyes irately at her dismissal of a case that had clearly been of interest to him.

"That's too bad," Skinner replied, searching Scully's face for what was really happening. "I'd like your report by nine tomorrow morning."

"We have nothing to report, sir," Mulder challenged.

"You were there for a day, Agent Mulder, you couldn't have come back empty handed," Skinner replied. There was a quick, almost undetectable glance between Mulder and Scully, a moment of amusement and of secrets shared between them that Skinner was surprised he'd picked up on- maybe he was getting better at dealing with these two. "Exactly what were you doing all of yesterday, Agent Mulder?"

"Well sir, at 11:00 we met with Det. Berkeley, and ended our day at…4:00."

"Agent Mulder, the Bureau is relatively lenient, but a five hour day really is a waste of our time and money. What could you possibly be doing after 4:00?" Skinner had a pretty good guess- he knew Mulder's interest in baseball, and knew Scully's interest in Mulder, so it fit relatively well together. Skinner nodded his understanding before Mulder came up with a good excuse. "I trust you had good seats," Skinner demanded, flashed what could possibly be described as something similar to a smile, and then closed the case file and handed it back to Scully. "Agent Scully, as the less…" Skinner paused, looking for the right word, "…radical agent in your partnership, I ask that you keep Agent Mulder in line…you too have been quite lenient lately, Scully."

"Yes sir, you can expect no less, sir," Scully replied, nodding.

"Good. Get back to work," Skinner dismissed them with a wave of his hand.

As Scully and Mulder exited the office, Mulder directed her towards the basement with a gentle hand on her back. "I can't believe we're that bad at lying."

"I can't believe we're that easy to read," Scully agreed, checking her phone for messages. "How did he know we were at the game?"

"Maybe the camera caught us," Mulder suggested.

"Skinner caught us," Scully scoffed and pressed the button for the elevator.

The elevator opened with a metallic crunch and they both stepped inside. "Any plans this week?" Mulder asked. Clearly their baseball…could they call it a date?...date had opened up more possibilities for what they could do outside of work together. Maybe he was being too bold- Scully's face twisted for a second as he asked.

"Yeah, I'm having dinner tomorrow night."

"Your mom?"

"Thomas," Scully mumbled, suddenly feeling guilty. Had she really just gone on a date with her partner? What else could it be described as?

"Ah," Mulder replied stiffly, but recovered quickly.

"Actually, I'm having dinner with Mom tonight. And seeing as your only company will probably be little grey men and stimulating women in erotic positions, would you want to come over? She wouldn't mind at all. She always makes too much casserole anyway."

"Meet the parents?" Mulder joked, and the next words were out of his mouth before he could take them back. "That's usually the job for the boyfriend, Scully."

Scully realized how it must look from his perspective. She'd just invited her partner over for dinner with her mother after going to a baseball game with him, but she was dating another man with whom she'd shared a bed. Maybe this was getting confusing for him- it was sure as hell confusing for her. Scully winced as she struggled to find the words. "Mulder, Mom really likes you," was all she could muster.

"And I really like her," Mulder agreed. "What time should I come over?"

"Around 6:00? We usually have dinner and then watch TV or a movie."

"What kind of movie?" Mulder wiggled his eyebrows and Scully rolled her eyes.

"Mom would never let you back in the house if you brought any of those, Mulder. Better yet, she'd force Skinner to split us up."

"Which I'm sure would be a relief for him," Mulder nodded with a smirk. "Skinner would _love _to have you, Scully."

"That's ridiculous," Scully challenged, rubbing her temples. Who knew-Fox Mulder was giving her a headache. She sat down at the chair in her 'area' while Mulder leaned back in his chair with his feet propped on the desk. "You have no evidence, Mulder."

"I don't need evidence, Scully, the man's after you like ugly on a dog."

"Mulder, I don't even think twenty promotions would melt the Ice Queen enough to go out with Skinner, even if his hair grew back and he lost those ridiculous glasses."

"You have the same glasses," Mulder laughed. "Hypocrite."

Scully smirked and was about to reply when her phone rang. "Sorry."

Mulder gestured for her to answer. "Scully," she answered.

"It's me, Thomas, your boyfriend," came the icy tone over the phone.

"Yeah," Scully agreed, a question rising in her voice. "I thought I was seeing you tomorrow night?" Mulder looked away awkwardly, pretending to read the poster on the wall but really just trying to hide the look of anguish spreading across his face.

"I thought so too, Dana, until I heard about your little date."

"What date?" Scully asked, although she knew full well what he was saying, just not how he found out. _Maybe we were on TV_, Scully considered briefly.

"You're little baseball outing. With your partner."

"That was just an event with friends," Scully begged quietly. That's all it really was- right?

"Instead of going out with me," Thomas challenged.

"I was in New York all day anyway, Thomas, I couldn't have been back for our date anyway."

"What's important is that you lied to me, Dana, after our first date."

"Thomas…"

"No. No excuses. The date's off."

"I'm sorry," Scully squealed, breaking the Ice Queen façade "I really am. Please give me another chance," she whispered. Mulder looked concernedly over, standing and walking over to her. Scully glanced briefly at him and shook her head as if to calm him.

"Game's over, bitch," Thomas snapped. It was loud enough for Mulder to hear. Swiftly, he grabbed the phone from her hands and yelled into the speaker.

"Listen up, asshole. If you ever say anything like that again to her, I'll fucking kill you." Mulder hung up the phone and threw it at the wall. It crunched into pieces as it smashed against the plaster, tumbling to the floor.

"Mulder!" Scully cried, standing angrily.

"The guy's a jerk, Scully, you can do better."

Scully's eyes grew pale with fury. "What, someone like you, Mulder?"

Mulder stood, shocked. He'd just defended her and she was angry.

"Mulder, I've waited five years for you and you just won't cut the crap and tell me how you feel! I finally decide to get a life outside of this fucking basement and you crash it to pieces! What if I don't want this, Mulder? What if, I want to go home and not think about getting abducted or losing you? Why does it take some guy from med school to force you to show me how you feel? Do you honestly think I'm blind to how you feel, Mulder? GOD, for such a smart man, you can be such a fucking idiot." Mulder looked at her, stunned. Scully's eyes were watering as she stepped over the files spilling on the floor and exited the office, slamming the door behind her.

Xxx

Scully didn't know where she was running. She had thrown her heels at the woman in the elevator that had made some comment about her nickname, and ran towards the parking garage, tears stinging her eyes and blinding her as she tripped clumsily over the pavement. She swung open the car door and slammed it behind her. Not having the energy nor the desire to drive, she closed her eyes and let the tears fall steadily, trickling down her rosy cheeks.

There was a knock at the passenger window. Scully looked up, to see Mulder standing uncomfortably behind the door. Scully unlocked the door, signaling allowed entry, and he stepped inside. Once there he reached an arm around Scully and pulled her into an awkward hug. It grew comfortable as Scully returned the hug, her eyes raining on his shoulder. "I'm sorry," she mumbled into his jacket.

"YOU'RE sorry?" Mulder laughed at the absurdity. "I ruined your phone."

"Yes, the phone meant everything to me, Mulder," Scully scoffed. "I'm sorry I led you on." The sincerity crept its way back into her melodic voice, scratching at the door like something left out in the rain. "And I'm sorry I ever decided to date an unforgiving bastard like Thomas Matson."

"So you were leading me on? You didn't want this?" Mulder decided not to hold back- they'd destroyed so many walls recently; what was the point of building new ones?

"Mulder, it was never like that," Scully insisted, pulling out of his embrace and wiping her eyes with a sniffle. "I love you, Mulder."

"Well, I've already told you that…"

"No, Mulder. I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Not as partners. Mulder with Scully."

Silence engulfed the car. Mulder was nearly sure he'd misheard her- and if not, maybe she meant platonically. He'd dreamed about this for so long, who was to say he wasn't formulating the words he wanted to hear so badly? All his doubts were set to rest as Scully grabbed his face and kissed him, aggressively but lovingly, and his arms fell limp at his sides. For what seemed like an eternity (but in actuality only a minute or so), they sat there, kissing feverishly in the front seats of her car. When Scully pulled away, it was only for air and to explain herself.

"Mulder...we can't…" she began, but he cut her off.

"I get it, Scully," he whispered and opened the door. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"What about my mom's…" Scully began but was interrupted again.

"Thanks, but I'll have to…"

"I get it, Mulder…I just thought maybe you'd…"

"I'll be fine, Scully. Have a good night."

The door was shut, his face a mixture of anguish and arousal, and he waved sadly after her as she peeled out of the parking lot, wiping tears from her eyes. What the hell was she thinking? Screaming at him and then running out to the car, profess her love to him and then assault his face? _Idiot! _She wiped her eyes again. Maybe she should turn around and look him in the eyes and tell the truth- regardless of Skinner or little grey men or the fucking Morley man. It was about time, anyways. But she stayed where she was, driving her way home, the words dying to drip off her tongue, her admission bubbling on her lips, the truth remaining unspoken.

**I know: long, dramatic, sad… the works. I could've made multiple chapters but I figured I wanted to get this much posted. I hope you enjoyed, and please review!**


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